Grime. Here’s some shit some of you are probably familiar with, but just in case, I thought I’d drop a little more knowledge on you uneducated motherfuckers.

Basically, Grime is like UKG, except, well, grimier. I’ve heard people thrashing about whining about how the term “grime” is racist (suggests dirty and criminal elements, or something like that), but I’ve been hearing that same argument on that whole jungle/dnb tip for a long time now, and anyway I don’t take offense to it, but yo, I ain’t from the UK, so what do I know? Point is that I call it grime, and until words like “sublow” or “8bar” or “eskibeat” stop sounding really really fucking weird to me, I’m gonna continue to call it that.

Anyway, being that, as mentioned, I’m a west coast cat and have never been anywhere near the Good Queen’s country, I’m gonna have to keep my attempts at putting this in a cultural context to a minimum, and paraphrase Lil Jon in a BBC interview: I like grime, even if I don’t understand what the fuck they be sayin’.

If I had to generalize (generalise?) the genre, though, it sounds to me like some of that ATL crunk shit taken to the next level on a techno tip, with some ringtones and people yellin’ shit in crazy accents, claiming cities I never even heard of.

Actually, speaking of the dirty dirty, did anyone catch that Semtex / Dizzee Rascal mixtape, the Piece Keepers Volume 2? Dude really brought the connections between crunk and grime to the forefront. Shit was hot, cop it.

And speaking of not knowing what the hell dudes are talking about, they had this interview with Diz on some show I think on Power 106 or something, and the host absolutely could not understand a got-damn thing Diz was saying. He kept telling Dizzee to repeat this album name (Boy in Da Corner) and even made him spell it out, and it still took him like ten minutes to understand what he was saying. I didn’t find it that hard to understand, personally, but I’ll admit to having to rewind shit more than normal just so I don’t look like an ass trying to recite that cockney shit in public.

So anyway, you all want a listen of this shit? Well, hitting up google for “grime” gets you rephlex records (aphex twin’s label, for those of you that fuck with the windowlicker), and two hot sets from some live event they threw back in the day. Don’t ask me for tracklistings, cause I don’t have em, but I can vouch for the quality of the first mix, at least (haven’t gotten to the second one yet). Check those basslines…it’s some heavy ish, I recommend turning that bass up before you click the link below.

Even if you aren’t interested in checking out the next shit from across the lake, it’s worth downloading the tracks if only to hear the spastic MC freestyling about Plasticman (I swear to god I thought he was saying “It’s all about Plastic Bags“), and yelling “Oh gosh, oh gosh!!!” every three seconds. Do be on the lookout for the track that drops right after he starts talking about Virus the first time…hot, hot. Dude even yells “bassline” for you, in case you’re too stupid to know what part of the song is supposed to be impressing you. Gotta love England.

Anyway, here’s that link - you can click that for free archived sets, I think totalling about two and a half hours of free music. Burn that shit and take it with you to listen to while you’re not listening to the next version of that one hip-hop mixtape all the kids is talkin about nowadays. There’s also a far more esoteric explanation of grime there, so if you don’t like my version, by all means, use theirs.

By the way, if there’s any grime producers / MCs out there reading this right now, get at me, I’m thinking about putting together an episode of the mixtape show with some grime tracks. Holler at your boyyy