FEMA raps about shit, doesn’t follow through

Okay, discount so FEMA is basically a giant fuckup. I was on the internets today and I saw this shit. Don’t worry, more about there is some actual hip-hop in here today. Sort of.

For those of you too lazy to check the site, here’s the basic rundown:

As New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin pleaded on national television for firefighters – his own are exhausted after working around the clock for a week – a battalion of highly trained men and women sat idle Sunday in a muggy Sheraton Hotel conference room in Atlanta. Many of the firefighters, assembled from Utah and throughout the United States by the Federal Emergency Management Agency, thought they were going to be deployed as emergency workers.

Instead, they have learned they are going to be community-relations officers for FEMA, shuffled throughout the Gulf Coast region to disseminate fliers and a phone number: 1-800-621-FEMA.

So, yeah. We’ve got a bunch of firefighters that are ready for action, but instead we’re holding a fucking tea party and training them on how to hand out fliers. Shit is so fucked nowadays that it’s surreal.

Here’s the thing, though.

I don’t ever, ever want to hear anyone telling me that FEMA or the government in general isn’t to blame for not being prepared for this, because that is a bunch of bullshit. I know for fucking sure that they knew what was going on. How? Well, two things.

1. Even Mr. Bill knew. The creator of the Mr. Bill series made a short PSA in which Mr. Bill’s house in New Orleans floods, and he gets eaten by a fucking alligator. This was all over the place.

In 2001.

Check this video if you haven’t seen it yet. I’m sorry, if a play-doh character that dies every episode knows that New Orleans is about to get flooded the fuck out, then maybe FEMA should, too. Next reason:

2. FEMA produced a rap song about it. I’m not fucking joking. Here’s the direct .ra file link.

Here are the lyrics, in case you want to sing along.

Disaster . . . it can happen anywhere,
But we’ve got a few tips, so you can be prepared
For floods, tornadoes, or even a ‘quake,
You’ve got to be ready – so your heart don’t break.

Disaster prep is your responsibility
And mitigation is important to our agency.

People helping people is what we do
And FEMA is there to help see you through
When disaster strikes, we are at our best
But we’re ready all the time, ’cause disasters don’t rest.

Written and performed by Scott J. Wolfson

I’m sorry, but that’s some fake-ass shit. I want to know who this Wolfson dude is. Maybe he’s someone they hired, or maybe Mike Brown was like “Hey, my son has one of those computers with the beat machine doodads in it! Why don’t we make some of that hippity-hop that all the youngsters like, so that they will think we’re actually fucking doing something!“*

I don’t know. I’m not trying to call dude out personally, but I’m having a difficult time seeing the difference between this rap and a rap where some dude gets on and acts like he sells rock and shoots people in they face, when he’s really an accountant or something. Oh, wait, I see the difference – in FEMA’s case, more people die. Yeah.

So anyway, there you have it. I don’t want to see anyone else getting upset because 50 allegedly wears fake chains cause the real shit is too heavy/expensive. Not only does our government lie to us, but they do it to us in rap songs. This is some extra next-level bullshit.

*Imaginary quote courtesy the shyster.

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