The Official Crank Dat [Soulja|Barney|Folger|Army|etc] Boy Post

Okay, remedy so I’ve been going on a Soulja Boy binge. On the off chance that you are not up on the Crank Dat Movement (CDM), you will possibly remember Soulja Boy from his Mixtape Show debut right here on this very hip-hop podcast with I Got Me Some Bapes in Episode 62 and Crank Dat Soulja Boy in Episode 78 – both of them part of the Bounce Tape series (#4 probably coming soon).

Anyway, things are really getting ridiculous with this dude. I mean, come on.

That’s not lens flare, that’s whiteout.

On his glasses.

He put whiteout on his sunglasses. You know, on purpose. To simulate a reflection of snow, or something. I don’t really know. And yes, those are rubber bands. Anyway, somehow this kid has become the hottest thing on the internets, which I am not really mad at.

The music videos that these ridiculous-ass songs have inspired, however are really just next-level insane. Check after the jump to see what I’m talm bout.

First, let’s start with this gem:

Crank Dat Instructional. Note that he says “instructional DVD” in the intro. This means that somewhere out there, somebody paid money for this.

Crank Dat Folger Boy. I’m just waiting until the Folgers ad execs pick up this and decide to have Soulja Boy shill for their coffee – Nigo’s apparently not taking the bait.

Crank Dat Winnie the Pooh. I think Rabbit is probably the best dancer out of the group.

Crank Dat Army Boy. If you don’t watch the other ones, watch this – at least until 1:15. The Bapes line in here is pretty brilliant.

Crank Dat Barney Boy. This isn’t quite as well thought out as some others, but the concept is brilliant. In other news, somewhere, a 20 year old Asian kid is crying softly into a blanket.

Crank Dat Jesus Christ What Is That – the logical extension of the CDM.

Feel free to post more in the comments. Otherwise, try not to get caught fired watching this shit at work.

shouts to freshjamz and the nation of thizzlam.

44 thoughts on “The Official Crank Dat [Soulja|Barney|Folger|Army|etc] Boy Post

  1. This is not only proof that hip-hop has lost its way, it also proves that ppl have lost their ever-lovin’ minds! OK, I already know the answer, but which of the following two songs would you rather be tied up and ear tortured by: Crank Dat by Soulja Boy, or A Bay Baby by Hurricane Chris…?

  2. Tray – So I guess you wouldn’t be interested in “No Bay Bay” featuring The Game’s younger sister.

    Sara – You know, because. That Army Boy video is pretty ridiculous though.

  3. Haha. Is he mentally disturbed or what? Yeah I heard some of his stuff before and… yeah, I think it’s good. Hopefully he’ll get some more stuff out. Now for a recommendation, this might be a bit wierd but this The Smiths with Stop Me. You might have heard the Mark Ronson version. Anyway…
    Also (yeah I got three this time), this song by Was (Not Was) is called (Return To The Valley Of) Out Come The Freaks (Semi/Historic 1983 Version). Don’t ask me why it’s so long and you can find a thirty second clip of it here Okay, third and final recommendation is by Human League called Being Boiled (don’t know if you heard of it):
    Man… Okay, that’s it for now so…
    Peace :)

  4. i guess..waterhose that ho hahaha. but for real, i think that folgers had crack in it.
    be good

  5. Mr U – okay, apparently now I should listen to the Smiths. People keep raving about them and I never pay attention, but it looks like maybe I have a good reason now. That Was (not Was) sounds hot from the clip I got. Not sure about the Human League cut, but I know somebody who’s into them so I should probably ask him to let me check some of it. I should like it though, considering that I like that synth sound.

    S&P – yeah, I think you hit us with a link on that. These are still the jams though – reminds me of the Seatbelts. Good looks on the tracks, this should keep me busy for a minute.

    Sara – seriously. That video was ridiculous. I like how everybody is aware of what complete idiots they are being.

  6. “keeping me busy”…

    so if I’m late with an episode you can all blame Mr Underground.

  7. Elliot – You know, I was wondering that too. Like, isn’t there a parking lot? Or a park? Maybe a basketball court? Fuck, the inside of a food court at the shopping mall? I have no idea what prompted that choice. I mean, it’s summer. Shouldn’t that pool be full?

    Tell me you saw that Barney joint. Now you see what I was talking about with that poor Asian American kid?

  8. This article reminded me of Aesop Rock on a track I believe was called Bracket Basher. He said something like:

    I’m not trying to save the world
    I’d rather watch it die slow
    So I could spit my grand ‘I TOLD YOU SO’

  9. Are you saying we’re watching the end of the world here? Is Soulja Boy the harbinger of doom? Elaborate fam (no sarcasm here, I haven’t heard that track).

  10. Nope..mad cause he’s helping to produce a generation of children that spell as good as you. =/ Hating would mean a part of us is jealous. What’s to envy? He owns more white out and rubber bands than me?..that’s so fly.

  11. The army boy and folger boy vids are more entertaining then the actual crank dat song. Keep making the vids. I need something to laugh at while im at work.

  12. Hey Tony T, get a life and grow up son. I love hip hop but that shit isn’t hip hop, nor rap. Come to think of it..its just another gimmick that lures anyone not smart enough to realize the garbage it is. Definitely stay in school bro, and if that train already passed..then I always need some flunkies to serve my burgers lol. But at least you’ll have your shiny sneakers and grill to make up for it.

  13. I just think he’s tryin to do his own thang wit da glasses and rubber bands and alll dat. Ya dat aint workin out. In regards to the other vids they’re RETARDED. wtf all those wite people jumpin around. (not racist, I’m wite too). But, I can’t get this shit outta ma head, it is a disgrace to rap…but…fuckin addictive.

  14. Soulja boy is a talentless prick and i love how he disses us “haters” coz of our ability to distinguish his absolute musical / lyrical garbage. What is wrong with society today man? I guess its acceptable for a 16 yr old to rap about supersoakin/ superman’ing hoes these days hahaha. Look at the smug look and sense of accomplishment on his face while trying to teach the world his “uber” cool dance moves. I can picture it now……asians and middle aged white people all over the world have 1 more piece of shit to be overjoyed about ( remember the macarena ). haha i could go on forever….that kid should have stayed in school for real.

  15. yo soulja boy rox. Give him some respect. Not every one likes classical music. Some people actually like rap and we are entitled to our own opinion. PS. i would rather listen to crank that by soulja boy, but i like hurricane chris too

  16. ay his cd is st8 and he even got me crank dat soulja boy 4real but i just wanted to let you all know that its cool and to let you all know that i do a lil rapping to but im hoping to do da same as he did but its not going to well now its me a my homie K.O. and im J-MACC MONEY from mississippi and i do believe in myself but 4 right now its not going to well but holla at me u can reach me at 662-473-8382 thats my cell number….holla at me….its real…

  17. wow. loving the smart crowd this ep dragged in. then again appealing to idiots takes no effort. the future of mediocrity…oh yeah, “cough.”

  18. since the videos were pretty lame and barely had any of the crank dats on here.,,here’s a bigger list of anyone who wants to know more crank dats:
    crank dat soulja boy,crank dat roosevelt,crank dat spiderman,crank dat michael jackson,crank dat superman,crank dat carlton,crank dat lion king,crank dat yank,crank dat spongebob,crank dat 360,crank dat aquaman,crank dat batman,crank dat travis barker version,crank dat forrest gump,crank dat rocket,crank dat holy ghost,crank dat stick and roll,crank dat jump rope,crank dat oreo boy,crank dat weezy wee,crank dat border hopper,crank dat super mario,crank dat super saiyan,crank dat fatman,crank dat leprechaun,crank dat x-men,crank dat head bangs,crank dat homeless man,crank dat roadrunner,crank dat megaman,crank dat scooby doo,crank dat charlie brown,crank dat peter pan,crank dat jugganaut,crank dat mr freeze,crank dat ralphie,crank dat jumpman,crank dat park,crank dat army boy,crank dat star wars,crank dat bed rock…those are the only ones i know :]

  19. man i think yal trippin i mean if dats the way he wanna exprise himself than let him i mean hip hop and music is about expression yall need 2 back off him adn get lifes! just cause u dnt lik him dnt mean other people dnt lik him!!!!

  20. woww. you really brought in the smart kids for this one. i’m all for expression when it’s original, i saw kids painting themselves with white out and wearing rubber bands as jewelry in elementary. we don’t have to agree on shit, but you could at least learn to spell if you speak it.

  21. hey there what is the dealio?????
    well i am goin to go now cuz i am in skool right now well luv you and Christin said hi and that she luvs u too!!!!!!

    bye got to get back to my school work lol

  22. What’s Hannenin soulja Boy dis ya girl Neshia A.k.A Soulja Girl Tellem from da A town I saw yo video Yahh!!!! last night and it had me crackin up i mean you was killing it That video was hot bro , you was fresh ( AS ALWAYS)and you a real animator I gotta give you yo props man cause you making yo way 2 da top in da music industry and forget them haters cause I know you gon have a lot of them like always, but anywho, keep crankin dat dance and giving us fans something 2 dance 2 aiight, Peace , YoUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Crank dat Soulja Boy

  23. hey soujaboy i am 8 years old and i just want to say that yahh!video is good and snap and roll and shoot out andcrank that yank and mail me back at826 south union street montgomery

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