So let me make something clear upfront.

First off, after being here for over a year, I think I can say with confidence that a large portion of Japanese hip-hop is not very good². I would actually go as far to say that a good portion of it is actually completely unlistenable, and that any non-native speaker of Japanese who claims to prefer Japanese rap over, say, its American counterpart is either very very familiar with the underground scene here, or lacks musical taste.^2.5

This coming from someone who only has Japanese rap in his mp3 player.

Second, I should also say here if someone asked me who my favorite Japanese rapper was, at this point in time I’d have to say Seeda. It is also an undisputable fact my opinion that his last album is a landmark record in Japanese rap history, is the best Japanese rap record out right now, and is going to be a major force in what happens over the next couple years in the scene. So if you want to call me biased, sure, I’m biased. But then again, I’m not really known for talking much on this site about things I don’t like.

Second point five, people who have been following the show might recognize the Seeda from the mildly infamous Niggas and Bitches episode (Seeda isn’t the rapper whose lyrics I took up, though – that was Oki). Yes, this is the dude who shared a mic with that rapper in the video. Possibly something to keep in mind as you read this.

Third, I’m going to try to avoid making really broad generalizations about Japanese society/politics – partially because such generalizations aren’t possible, and partially because if you wanna know more about society/politics, there are better places to learn about that than from me. As good as I am at hiding it, I actually don’t know anything about anything, and encourage you to do your own research.

So, on to the track itself. This one is called Dear Japan, by Seeda, produced by Bach Logic. I actually heard this maybe four or so months ago when Seeda put it up for a couple days on his myspace, and actually liked it enough to want to drop it on the show. Didn’t happen, obviously.

Okay, let’s get to the video already:

Seeda – Dear Japan (prod. Bach Logic)

The first thing that you will notice is that dude stares at the camera for like fifteen full seconds before he even says a word. If I may be permitted to say something here about dude （Seedaさん、気を悪くしないで下さいね）, dude kinda has a crazy look in his eye. And he continues to make really skurry faces at the camera for the whole video. So if that makes you uncomfortable, yeah.

Lyrical breakdown, background, and wild, baseless speculations after the jump.

The video itself – there’s not really much to say about it. It’s simple, but I sort of like it that way, because it actually really fits with what dude is talking about pretty well. There’s actually another “proper” video in the works (shouts to ham-R) for another joint off the same album, but I’m not sure when that’s gonna be ready.

But what I’d like to focus on today really is the track itself. Aside from having extremely dope production (Bach Logic = favorite Japanese producer right now), the lyrics are kina interesting. Let’s get into the first section. First section is Japanese, second is transliterated into roman letters, third is my translation.

クラブのbeefは　ラップより喧嘩
ラジオのbeefは　ラップより大人？
kurabu no beef ha rap yori kenka [β]
rajio no beef ha rap yori otona?
Beef at the club more fighting than rapping
Beef on the radio is more “adultlike” than rapping

As you’ll probably notice in a second, stuff that sounds cool in Japanese doesn’t necessarily sound good in English. Also, there are limits to my Japanese ability (read: I suck), so if anyone fluent out there wants to contribute more fluent/accurate translations, or if I’m just totally off in my interpretation on something, please, hit the comments section and correct me.

So contextwise, this track was leaked immediately after the airing of the last episode of Verbal’s (of Teriyaki Boys) podcast featuring Seeda. As I mentioned in Episode 117, after Seeda dissed Verbal, Verbal turned around and invited him on as a guest on his talk show, saying that “Japanese people can’t understand the concept of ‘beef’, so we have to educate them“. Seeda accepted the invite, but was disappointed with the, how do you say – non-hip-hop-ness of how Verbal handled things, and said as much on the show. At the end of the special, which somebody converted and posted up on youtube, the two freestyle “battled”, which resulted in Verbal absolutely embarrassing himself. But more of that on another day.

Point is, the first part of this song comes off as Seeda being pissed off about Verbal’s sorta holier-than-thou attitude. But then all of a sudden the track turns into a pretty violent criticism of the government.

どこぞの官僚政治家ども
お前の息子がさらわれてもそう、
ソファーにふかくこしかる　重い腰
いまかいまか待ち人　は年老い
dokozo no kanryou seijikadomo
omae no musuko ga sawaretemo sou
sofa ni fukaku kosikaru omoi koshi
imaka imaka matihito ha tosioi
random-ass bureaucrats
is this what you do when your children are abducted?
sitting there on the couch
the people who need your help are getting old waiting for you

Okay, yeah, that was a terrible translation. Here, he’s talking about the North Korean abduction of Japanese citizens during the 70s and 80s (Japanese version here). I won’t go into detail here, but essentially the NK goverment abducted at least 16 Japanese citizens, some say for use in training spies. North Korea didn’t officially admit it until the early 2000s, and only actually allowed a few to return. I’m not up enough on the issue to say much more, but suffice to say that a lot of Japanese people are still really heated about the lack of pressure the Japanese government is putting on to get people back to their families and to the bottom of things, and the issue is still being debated.

What’s interesting here is that Japanese rap isn’t really known for being directly political. When something does get “conscious” (ps – hate that word) or “political”, out here, it’s usually sort of ambiguous on some “television is bad, society is troubled” kind of tip, and it’s rare to see someone actually point fingers or get in someone’s face. But let’s move on –

遅いなんてものは一つもない
塵も減らせば山は消える right?
I wanna I wanna I need dat I need that I need that believe that
裁判官、検事、警察はグル
本当のことを教えてくれ aight?
I wonna I need dat believe dat
osoi nantemono ha hitotu mo nai
tiri mo heraseba yama ha kieru right?
I wanna I wanna I need dat I need that I need that believe that
saibankan, kenji, keisatu mo guru
hontou no koto wo oshiete kure aight?
It’s not too late
If you take enough specks of dust away, even a mountain will disappear
I wanna I wanna I need dat I need that I need that believe that
The judges, the detectives, the police are all in it together
tell me what’s really going on, aight?

Healthy distrust of the police/justice system here. Nothing really surprising for a listener of American hip-hop here, but you don’t see much of this in Japanese rap.

Or, for example, this:

まわりくどい　不透明や妥協
俺はぶれないファック麻生

海の向こうをお前がみれば
不景気がなんだ
YES WE CANさ
オバマと団結し向かう明日
同じ夢見れる　そんなリーダー
mawari kudoi futoumei ya dakyou
ore ha burenai, fakku asou
umi no mukou wo omae ga mireba
fukeiki ga nanda
YES WE CANさ
Obama to danketu si mukau asita
onaji yume mireru sonna riidaa

You probably recognized at least one phrase in there. Here’s the translation:

beating around the bush, purposefully unclear statements and compromises
“I won’t budge” – Fuck (prime minister) Aso!
If you looked over across the ocean – what “financial slowdown”?
“Yes We Can”!
They can collaborate with Obama and face tomorrow
Someone who shares the same dreams as the people – that’s the kind of leader we want

This section is interesting on a couple of points. First off, Seeda gets on and says, in public, “fuck the prime minister“.

This is massive.

Whereas we probably all know at least a few kids for whom “Fuck Bush” was practically a greeting, saying things like that over here doesn’t fly.

At all.

Not that you’ll go to jail or anything, but had Seeda tried to release this on a major label, or even a large indie, it woulda been censored or he would have been forced to remove the line. And that’s even considering that the word “fuck” isn’t even banned on the air (it is, after all, a foreign word) – it’s not uncommon to see people flipping each other off in children’s cartoons. But directly pointing out a particular political leader is not done – not even in hip-hop^3.5.

I’m sure someone will get on here and correct me, but I can’t think of a single incident in Japanese rap, period, that precedes this.

Second, dig the Obama reference, and the absolute trust put in what the dude is doing. Seeda’s basically saying he wishes he had somebody like Obama instead of Aso, and that Aso should start taking notes and quit lying to the people. Regardless of what your opinions are on either of the dudes, it stands to note here that, as I said, Japanese rap is simply not very political – at least not in the way that most from the US or the UK for example would consider “political” – and that the young generation showing anything other than absolute apathy towards society is kind of rare.

Immediately after the previously quoted line:

あれ自民党、これ民主党
シャッタファッかアップ I got bored on both
ファックリックロスなみにフェイクなボス
口先野郎に定めるスコープ
are jimintou, kore syumintou
syattafakkappu I got bored on both
fakku rikku rosu nami ni feiku na bosu
kutisaki yarou ni sadameru suko-pu
LDP⁴ this, Democratic Party that
Shut the fuck up, I’m bored of hearing about that
Fuck this dude, fake as Rick Ross
I line up these liars in my scope

Scope, as in sniper scope.

One thing you might notice is the “I got bored on both” line. Seeda’s known for talking an awful lot of English in his tracks – which isn’t really an uncommon phenomenon. I’ll talk about that some other time though, but I’ll say for now that I find a lot of it weird.

And, for those familiar with Rick “I-rap-about-selling-large-amounts-of-coke-but-really-I-used-to-be-a-cop” Ross, the comparison of a political leader to a “fake” like that should probably come across pretty clearly. And the sniper scope metaphor. Anything that even suggests violence – even in the abstract – is not something to be aimed at government officials out here. Can’t stress that enough.

Last selection.

どうなんだ?って聴いてんだ　ただ
どうなった？って聴いてんだ　はらー

俺がDISるヤツ
俺がDISるもの
俺がDISるbeef
hateだけじゃねえ

９条捨てる
医療を変える
倫理を捨てる
スタイルを捨てる
俺の読んだ教科書、ゴミになる？
どんな基準で国民を守る？
自分の子と思えなきゃ何が政治家
値打ちもねえゴシップ政治が
何もあおっちゃいない
俺は意見をここに記したい

dou nanda? tte kiiten da tada
dou natta? tte kiiten da hara-
ore ga disuru yatu
ore ga disuru mono
ore ga disuru beef
heito dake ja nai
kyuujou wo suteru
iryou wo kaeru
rinri wo suteru
sutairu wo suteru
ore no yonda kyoukasyo gomi ni naru?
donna kijun de kokumin wo mamoru?
jibun no ko to omoenakya nani ga seijika
neuti mo nei gossippu seiji ga
nanimo aottyainai
ore ha iken wo koko ni sirusitai

What’s going on? I’m asking you
What happened? I’m just asking you, holla

The suckers I dis
The things I dis
The beef I dis ⁶
This isn’t just me hating

You throw away Article 9
You change Healthcare
You throw away your morals
You change the style*
What, is the textbook I read in school trash all of a sudden?
On what level are you protecting the people?
If you don’t think of the people as your children, what kind of politician are you?
Worthless-ass gossip government
I’m not trying to start anything
I want to scribe down my opinion here

And here, we actually get into some specific issues. Article 9 is basically the article of the Japanese constitution that prevents Japanese from ever having a military:

ARTICLE 9. Aspiring sincerely to an international peace based on justice and order, the Japanese people forever renounce war as a sovereign right of the nation and the threat or use of force as means of settling international disputes. (2) In order to accomplish the aim of the preceding paragraph, land, sea, and air forces, as well as other war potential, will never be maintained. The right of belligerency of the state will not be recognized.

Emphasis mine.

So, essentially, “throwing away Article 9″ means building an armed force with the intention of starting a war. And in Japan, this is actually prohibited by the constitution⁷. The text books you get as a kid in Japan teach you that war is a horrible, terrible mistake, and that Japan is forever a pacificist country. Seeda is accusing the government of breaking this promise, and lying.

The healthcare thing – I can’t say too much about this, but apparently the government is attempting to raise the prices of healthcare dramatically – as in like a lot – and that’s not going over well with some people. Contrary to popular belief, Japan has poor people too. Plenty of them.

The style thing – personally I read this as a double entendre on a rap level, but strictly in context, this seems more of a “everything was fine before you started trying to change things – the style we had before you came in was good” thing – possibly putting emphasis on the healthcare thing. You could call this conservative if you want.

So yeah, I’m getting hungry, so I’m going to wrap things up here.

断っておきますが、this is not intended as one of those articles that praises some artist for his or her bravery/makes them out to be more than they are/tries to set someone up as some sort of hero⁸ – and if it read like that, I apologize. Please attribute that to my ineptness as a writer.

But.

But.

I mean, come on. Distrust of the government bordering on paranoia, mixing of rap metaphors with political ones, outright slander, plus a kind of brilliant beat – this is a good rap song. A quite good one. Don’t respect Seeda for being some sort of deep political thinker, don’t respect him for starting some imaginary “movement” that only exists in somebody’s graduate thesis, respect him for making a dope rap song.

It’s also pretty interesting as a look at what is happening in the scene over here – musically, of course, but possibly even more so as a look at a small piece of the culture. This is a Japanese song, about Japan (and Japanese songs), written by a Japanese person for a Japanese audience. And like I said in episode 117, if you want to get what’s actually going on, it’s important to listen to the conversations people are having within the community.

Not whatever trash that outsiders that don’t know anything anyway happen to be running their mouths about.

cough cough.
—-

[1] I mean, seriously. I’ve been out here for like a year and some change and said very very little about the music here. Sorry about that.
[2] A good portion of American hip-hop is also not very good.
[2.5] That is to say, if you were born in Japan and don’t speak English, then I can understand if you prefer to listen to music that you understand. But if you’re some sort of bootleg orientalist Pocky-munching yellow fever Japan anime fanboy/girl that professes love of anything from Japan just because it’s from Japan and mean to tell me that, oh, I don’t know, Rip Slyme is better than Kanye, or that King Ghiddra is better than Wu Tang, then you are clinically insane and need to have your head examined and get on a twelve step program immediately. Also you have no musical taste. Sorry. That said, though, there are plenty of Japanese rappers who I prefer – easily – to a lot of US rappers.
[β(sorry, thought of this in the middle and didn't wanna renumber)] Note that he doesn’t say “ラップ” really, but “rap”, in English. If he said it in Japanese, it would break the rhyme pattern. Just something for the rhyme heads, I guess.
[3] He even takes a line that Aso is known for saying – “I won’t budge” (as in, I’ve made the correct decision and am not changing my mind) – and flipped it on its head.
[3.5] Not necessarily because it’s illegal or anything, but just because it’s considered “uninteresting”. There isn’t a large (perceived) market for “overly” political rap.
[4] LDP, the Liberal Democrat Party
[5] Not all of it is understandable though.
[6] I’ve no confidence in this translation at all.
[7] You could argue that Japan already has plenty of “war potential” – hello, SDF.
[8] Actually, I think anyone who expects too much of a man hollering into a microphone over some drums coming out of a box needs to get they head checked.

MIXTAPE 117 -NIGGAS AND BITCHES

So I’m going to apologize upfront:

1. The intro is long. The outro is long. This episode is long. Almost an hour. I talk a lot.
2. I repeatedly use a word that I’m not really known for using, ever.

That out of the way, here’s the background:

The other day, during the course of my very serious research (read: half-asleep, cruising the Japanese interwebs), I discovered Japanese beef.

Apparently underground rappers Seeda and Oki of Geek had taken offense to something in the outro of the Teriyaki Boyz’ (probably only known in the States (and Japan) for showing up on Youtube videos wearing Bape and dancing around with Kanye) new single, “Serious Japanese”. They then proceeded to air their frustrations in public by recording a dis track (complete with accompanying video) and posting it up on Seeda’s blog.

Check the video below:

The two lines which we will be tackling today are below:

一人はビッチで後はカス you are serious? へそが茶を沸かす
One of you is a bitch, the others are trash. You are serious? Don’t make me laugh

二番煎じはニガの機嫌取り ass hall ガバガバ　＄をばらまく
You’re played out, just trying to make the niggers* like you. Assholes**, throwing money around

*Ostensibly, the black rappers/producers they’re associated with. I could have used the “nigga” form, but it’s being used more as an insult here, so it’s sort of in between a swap-word for “dude” and an actual proper racial slur.
**I think that’s what they meant.

Note that the above is a really loose translation. If you have a more eloquent one, let me know and I’ll fix it.

Oh yes, shouts to VTS for this week’s image design and some insight on the lyrics. Also shouts to ミスターポポ.

So yeah. Pretty much every underground Japanese rap fan is aware of this dis, the Teriyaki Boyz’ Verbal has responded to it on his blog and mentioned it on his podcast, and it’s been picked up on every site I can find – but there’s one angle that hasn’t been touched – the fact that in the first twenty seconds, somebody drops the N-bomb.

I thought it was interesting. So today, using this dis track as a starting point, we’ll look at some of the different ways we can look at this phenomenon (if you want to call it that), some of the background on how we got to this point, and in the end, I guess, look a little closer at the situation as it is at home.

A lot of talking, a lot of what will likely come off as little more than pointless theorizing, but at the very least, an awful lot of dope music.

beatro: The Brothers Johnson – Q.
beatro 2: Nipsey Hussle – Hussle in the House

Re-Up Gang – Real Niggas. I didn’t actually sit down and listen to the whole mixtape, but I do dig this cut. I had a conversation at a ramen shop this morning (somebody needs to tell these dudes that letting customers in at 3:AM, handing them soup, and then closing down at 3:20 is not funny) about the above dis track, and he said “Dex, you know that for these guys, ‘nigga’ just means ‘guy’”. If so, this song gives more than a few real-life examples of how to use the word – actually, this one goes above and beyond and expands on it, giving you the macho angle on the word as well. myspace.com/ablive

beatro 3: Super Smoky Soul – Simply (Extended Version)

Stat Quo – I’m Sorry. As I said in the episode, this stands on its own as a piece of art. All of these songs do. You don’t have to “agree” with what the dude is saying – since when did we start judging art with a PC ruler? But dig dude’s stance on the word: “They can’t say it but we can…Look at the power we hold in our hand”. And while this dude does make an attempt at showing respect towards women, this song is sort of uncompromisingly misogynistic – if you spelled it out in mathematical terms, bitch characteristics = “female” characteristics = undesirable characteristics. A = B = C, thus A = C, Q.E.D. This is sort of a theme throughout a good number of these songs. myspace.com/statquo

beatro 4: Jr Don – Bring In Black 2

Tribe Called Quest – Sucka Nigga. I guess this is the most palatable song of any of these for the PC set. That said, there’s not much substantially different from Q-Tip’s and Stat Quo’s stances on the word. myspace.com/atribecalledquest

Three 6 Mafia – Watcha Starin At feat Lil Jon. Sort of had to put these dudes in here. Lil Jon was possibly the root cause of white frat dudes screaming “nigga whut” at college parties from ’03-06′. At least from what I saw.

beatro 5: Unagi – High? Yes

Tahir – You Don’t Know Me. Probably the most challenging cut on here. Make no mistake about it, though – as the dude says, the sentiments expressed on this record aren’t rare, and they aren’t new. Lyrics to rewind and contemplate: “It’s my right to say this right here. This is my shit. This is my hood, and you’re in it“.

beatro 6: Sadat X – Hang ‘Em High

Jayo Felony – Don’t Call Me Nigga. I’m realizing that it’s starting to look like I put a large portion of this together just doing a search in my iTunes folder for “nigga”. Early 90s west coast. A lot of prison rap on this particular album, for good reason. myspace.com/jayofelony

MC Tucker and DJ Irv - Where Dey At? Probably a couple hooks in here you’ll recognize. Obviously this is just the intro, but the rest of the song sorta does the same thing.

beatro 7: Platinum Pied Pipers – After the Worries

You know, maybe I should have said this earlier, but I’m not here on some NAACP whining about how the word itself is bad. I’m not really interested in “nigga” right now beyond its use as a tool here to give us a look at a bigger issue. You know, just putting that out there.

Sporty T – Sporty Talkin 93. Edited. Note how “niggas” and “brothers” is used absolutely interchangeably. The first time I ever saw the Beef DVD series was in Japan (they got all 3 out here). Subtitles. And every time the dudes on TV said “that nigga this, a real nigga wouldn’t that, I don’t like them niggas”, etc, the “nigga” was translated as “黒人” “black person”. Sometimes 黒人男性, “black male”. So if you want to go with the “ignorance of the weight of the word” route, this would be a good thing to cite. Also I’m realizing now that I didn’t talk about bitches as much as I promised – maybe some other time. myspace.com/sportyt504

Jayo Felony – Niggas and Bitches. This was released as a radio single, believe it or not. And since the hook (you sort of have to hear it to believe it, try not to laugh) wasn’t going to work on radio, they actually cut a totally different version for the B-side called “Brothers and Sisters”, complete with each “nigga” being replaced for “brother”, and “bitch” for “sister” throughout the song. It’s sort of interesting to think about how simply switching the two words around makes such a large difference – the sentiment of the song doesn’t change at all (either way, it’s a tribute to loyal friends).

So that’s what it is for this round. Hit the comments, I’m interested.

(oh, and even though I said this in the episode, let me put it in writing – don’t mistake this as ‘dex is hating on Japan/Japanese rap/rappers’. And I like Seeda (and what I’ve heard of Geek). I sorta wish I woulda done a proper Japanese rap show before I put this out, but I had to get this off my chest first. Look for an actual music episode coming soon.)

So – to the point. Earlier I received an email from imeem:

Dear dex digital:

Before you vote, check out imeem playlists of Barack Obama and John McCain’s top ten favorite songs: http://www.imeem.com/presidentialplaylists

Whoa. Both major presidential candidates had online playlists? You know I had to check this. And looking at the playlists, I realized how much these speak to the style wars of the future. Keep in mind, kids – the hypebeast electrobanger listeners will some day be running the country. What you see below is a rundown of each candidate’s playlist, with a running commentary, final grading, and suggestions on improvement.

So, because voting based on political stances is played out – here I present the official Mixtape Show guide to voting based on taste.

Ready Or Not – The Fugees. This is a very, very good start. A group that many adults (and younger kids, really) haven’t even heard of, but Obama doesn’t care. A brash opening move that will get respect from the hardcore. Respect.
What’s Going On – Marvin Gaye. I’ve actually always hated the hook to this song, but the rest of the song is classic. Political Black soul. A strong following move.
I’m On Fire – Bruce Springsteen. Off the Born In The U.S.A record, which methinks is an appeal to the “Obama – ain’t that like Osama? I bet he’s one-a them thar A-rab queer lesbasexual terrarists” crowd. Decent enough song. I didn’t have this one in my house growing up.
Gimme Shelter – The Rolling Stones. This either. I am, however, noticing a rather unsubtle selection of track titles here.

Read on for the rest of the lineup…

Sinner Man – Nina Simone. Not the best title to woo the Fox News crowd, but otherwise this is a pretty good pick, politically. Elements of gospel, jazz, rock, and the careful backpacker may notice the original sample for Talib Kweli’s “Get By” at the 5 minute mark. This may be the most “impressive” cut on here, tastewise.
Touch The Sky (feat Lupe Fiasco) – Kanye West. My dad doesn’t even like Kanye West. This is clearly a reach for the younger generation. A good one, anyway.
You’d Be So Easy To Love – Frank Sinatra. For the old white folks.
Think – Aretha Franklin. Black female power? And the album is listed as Rhino Hi-Five – Black History Month Songs. Sort of a bold move here, and again, a possible reach at the crate-diggers (and junglists?)
City Of Blinding Lights – U2. You probably could have achieved a similar effect with Coldplay, but I can understand reaching for the post-quarterlife crisis yuppie vote in a slightly safer manner.
Yes We Can (YOU MUST VOTE) – Barack Obama and Will.I.Am. This is an understandable pick, but ultimately falls short of the expectations set by the previous tracks in that this song is simply not good. The Barack 2008 jam by Daedelus and Taz would have been much better – though one can understand why he wouldn’t pick that.

Overall Notes:
Musical Merit: A-. This is actually a decent playlist. Looking at it again, I think that if this guy had come in to apply as a DJ at KUCR (alma mater radio station) with this playlist on his app, we’d probably have at least granted him an interview. There’s a broad taste shown here, with a leaning toward politically conscious lyricism, and as mentioned above, the Nina Simone track, when combined with the other soul cuts, shows a pretty deep appreciation for roots and soul music. The Will.I.Am cut is an unfortunate slip, however, and calls into question his taste in hip-hop (e.g. is he just putting this there to seem hip?)- but this is balanced out mainly by his inclusion of Fugees at the top. And beyond that, the playlist actually flows properly. If this guy flunks the election, he could probably get a gig as a college DJ.
Politricks: A. This is a very, very well thought out playlist – to the point of being slightly suspicious. The songs, when presented in this context, all seem to carry some appeal to the voting audience – down to the track titles (“Gimme Shelter” = a nod to the working poor? it’s possible). The artists themselves are diverse – Blacks, whites, males, females, Christians, Muslims, and other persuasions that are probably just a Wikipedia search away, but I’m too lazy for that.

Personality Profile: Taking a look at this list, this seems like a person I would get along fairly well with – I’d actually probably ask to borrow some of his Nina Simone stuff (can you tell that that cut impressed me?) because I don’t have any. That said, it should be mentioned that I do detect a bit of a streak of self-importance in this playlist. I don’t care how many people have written songs about you – including a song with your speeches in it as your final cut is a little bold, no? That combined with his approval of Kanye and Lupe’s ridiculous swagger betrays a vain side that he doesn’t seem particularly concerned with hiding.

Recommended Amendments To This Playlist: This playlist could have been slightly better with Elton John. Really, just replace any one of the white guys on here with Elton John. If you like Kanye, you like Elton.

Personal Recommendations: Jay Electronica, probably. I think he’d probably dig it. Looking at this playlist, he might already have some Dilla, but I’d pass him some of that, and recommend probably some Outkast, and maybe even UGK (he could keep it in his car, he doesn’t have to let the voting public know he likes it). Also probably some funk (he may well listen to it, but there’s not much in here – and that Will.I.Am song worried me), and by logical extension, soultronica. Probably some Sa-Ra. Really, I’d actually just tell him to listen to this show.

Dancing Queen – Abba. It’s still a little too early to like this song. Maybe in 2015 or so. Not enough time has passed for this to be an ironic hipster favorite song. Not the best start, but the energy is there.
Blue Bayou – Roy Orbison. This isn’t such a bad song, I guess.
Take A Chance On Me – Abba. As decent as this song is, two Abba songs in the same 10-song playlist? That’s not fandom, kiddo, that’s just a lack of creativity. And “Take A Chance On Me”? That doesn’t exactly inspire confidence, fam.
If We Make It Through – Merle Haggard. What, dude, were you afraid to pull out a country track? This might actually be the best cut on here.
As Time Goes By – Dooley Wilson. The first Black dude on here, and it’s from a somewhat unfortunate era. I don’t know, this one makes me think Blackface and shucking and jiving.
Good Vibrations – The Beach Boys. Stoner.
What A Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong. The second Black solo artist on here. Legendary song, but come on, man. Similar era to Dooley…this is starting to look suspicious.
I’ve Got You Under My Skin – Frank Sinatra. Next to Good Vibrations, the second edgiest song on this cut. He’s clearly trying to appeal to the youngins with this happening tune. I’d make a heroin joke here, but I think that might be reaching a little far.
Sweet Caroline – Neil Diamond. Neil Diamond actually inspires rage in some people. This might not have been a good pick.
Smoke Gets In Your Eyes – The Platters. I’m really starting to think that maybe McCain was/is into psychedelics. Too many of these songs make me think about drugs.

Overall Notes:
Musical Merit: C. This is a lazy, narrow playlist. There’s no tension, no release, no peaks or valleys, just dredge. The songs themselves aren’t necessarily all bad, but there’s no understanding of how to tell a story here, which is unfortunate. As mentioned above, the Abba shows either a lack of taste or an artistic laziness – neither of which are good signs. There’s not much that differentiates this playlist from a drivetime oldies station lineup, with the exception of the Merle Haggard cut.

Politricks: B-. McCain truly dropped the ball here – with such an easy method to display an appreciation for diversity, there’s no sense of even a proper effort. There are no female solo artists on here, and the only Black people here are from the Jim Crow era. And what’s the matter, McCain, with all the thousands of disco records made by Black people, you only dig the white guys (if this is indeed the case, you really should have gone with the Bee Gees – anything but Staying Alive and you would have been good)? To his credit, though, McCain speaks to his audience – if only his audience – by including a lot of songs that make old red-state white folks feel good.

Personality Profile: This is going to sound scarily like Bush PR (and perhaps for good reason), but this guy is clearly a straight-shooter. He doesn’t really listen to music made by Black people or women, and doesn’t really mind letting you know that. He is clearly nostalgic for the Jim Crow era, and he doesn’t mind letting you know that, either. This is a good person to watch the game with at a sports bar over a beer. Or five. He is what he is, and he’s not pretending to be anything else. This is a good thing, because he’s apparently bad at hiding things – things, for example, such as his apparent affinity for drugs. A lot of these songs seriously make me think about drugs. Uppers and downers – he may not be diverse with the company he keeps or the people he cares about, but he appears to know his drugs.

Recommended Amendments To This Playlist: Seriously dude, the only thing that would even partially offset the damage you’ve done here would be to replace the first Abba song with the something from The Last Poets.
Personal Recommendations: I’d have to take it pretty easy on this guy. I’d probably recommend some of the less heard Johnny Cash. Maybe some Muddy Waters. Maybe slowly introduce him to rappidy-raps, possibly using M.C. Hammer as a gateway and then slowly working up to maybe Common, but that could take a while.

I’ve already said this before, and you pretty much knew what was going to happen before you read this, but unfortunately or unfortunately, McCain isn’t as cool as Barack, so he can’t win. That’s the way it goes.

The lists, of course, aren’t perfect. What artists/songs would you recommend to either of the presidential candidates?

Assuming, you know, you’re still reading this.

More music soon, promise.

Can anybody from LA confirm if this is actually getting any airplay back home? Even on the college circuit? It wasn’t getting any love at all before I left. Thanks to Karthi for putting me up on the video – I’m actually a little embarrassed at how late I was.
(for the original, curse-laden version, check Episode 99 – The Primaries)

And bonus video:

Yes, the video from one of the stronger joints on last week’s episode. Thanks for Spencer for getting that to me. (If you’re looking for relevance, look at his shirt).

No matter what a person’s stance is on Obama or music or whatever, I pretty much defy anyone to deny hip-hop culture’s importance in this campaign. Like it or not, this culture is going to play a big part in the next four (or more) years.

That said, if somebody can get the man himself to dance to the Obama rap song, I will personally donate a large sum of money to his campaign.

New episode soon.

Like anyone who is even somewhat involved in the music world, I get a lot of e-mail. Demos from people hoping for some airtime (can you say airtime for a podcast?), mail from people who hate/like the show, promos from major labels, promos from indie labels, and general “blasts”.

Last week, I got an email blast from DJ Chuck T, who most of you will recognize as being a ridiculously prolific (as in drops two tapes a week) North Carolina mixtape DJ, the man behind the Down South Slangin’ and Sexxplicit R&B series. And yes, this is the same dude that aired Lil Wayne out after badmouthing mixtape DJs.

Anyway, in an email titled “DJ Chuck T Blasts Barak Obama On MTV! OUCH!!”, DJ Chuck T posted a link to this video (sorry, I can’t embed it – just click here, it’s short)

What doesn’t come out in the video, though, is this (excerpt from the email sent out):

“[...]the self-proclaimed “Malcolm X of Hip-Hop” DJ Chuck T has unleashed his fury on the Presidential Candidate! “He’s not black, he’s bi-racial! And he wasn’t even raised by black people…” DJ Chuck T stated to MTV’s Shaheem Reid on the Red Carpet of the 2008 Ozone Magazine Awards. Chuck T went even further and said “Barak doesn’t embody the values and characteristics we as black people are raised with…”

That “bi-racial” section definitely didn’t sit right with me, so…I wrote dude an email.

And as expected, I got a pretty thought out (considering the dude is preparing for a speech in DC) and respectful email, where Chuck elaborated and stood by his opinion. No issue in particular with that.

And I was about to leave it at that, until:

Spike Lee came out and pretty much said what I had said, minus a few points here and there. Dig the article, then come back: Spike Lee has Sharp Words in Denver.

So compare that to the original email I wrote a few days before this article came out. Obviously I’m not claiming that Spike Lee jacked what I’m saying – this is just for comparison. Also, I’m posting the full unedited text of this mainly because I don’t feel like paraphrasing, but I’d appreciate it if you took it as a token of my honesty and openness.

My original response to the original email blast:

Peace DJ Chuck T -

I’m sure your email inbox is flooded on a daily basis, and you may well not be able to get to all of your mail directly, but I just read this and felt like I should respond.

As far as lashing out at Barack Obama the politician, I don’t really have much beef with that. To me, the dude is a politician. Maybe a good one, maybe a bad one, but a major league politician who plays by major league rules, which means he is going to pretend that certain people don’t exist, go back on his word when it is convenient, etc – that is what politicians do. He is just another politician, scheming for votes, because that is what politicians do. I’m not sure about being the biggest Uncle Tom in the history of Black America – but I don’t think you meant that literally. I did an episode about the primaries a long time ago but refrained from outright supporting Obama because I didn’t feel it was appropriate given my mixed feelings on him. I personally will probably vote for the man – not because I am terribly excited about him bringing some sort of change to society because I don’t think change comes from the top – if you look at our history, particularly Black history, it never has – but because McCain is a scary dude and I do not want him bombing anyone else.

What I do have a problem with, though, is how you referred to Barack Obama – “He’s not black, he’s bi-racial! And he wasn’t even raised by black people…”

That, to me, doesn’t make any sense, no matter how you look at it. If you want to look at things from a historical angle, then you’ll remember the “one drop” rule. Beyond that, before Obama was all over the TV, I’m pretty sure that when he walked into a 7-11, just like when you or I walk into a 7-11, the person behind the counter did not see a “biracial” man or a “guy who wasn’t even raised by Black parents”, they saw a Black man, and they acted accordingly.

And it makes even less sense to say something like that considering that exactly one sentence prior, you referred to yourself as the Malcolm X of Hip-Hop. I’m sure you know this, but Malcolm X himself was ‘biracial’. One half African-American, one quarter Grenadian, and one quarter white. So maybe you are making a distinction between 25% white and 50% white, with the former being “black” and the latter being “not black”. If not, then maybe picking another historical persona would make your argument more coherent.

That said, though, unless your family came to the US independently, if you look at your own family tree (and I know that this is hard for the descendants of the slave system to trace back more than a few generations – if you’re able to do this, then count yourself as being very fortunate – on my side, we have no idea what went on beyond 1900 or so), I’m pretty sure you’ll find that you are not “100% Black”. I’m not sure what the statistics are, but there are very few African American individuals who are not mixed with something or other – including me, yourself, and Ludacris.

For me, trying to slander someone by saying that they aren’t “Black”, or “Black enough”, is about as counterproductive as you can get. If you have beef with someone’s actions, particularly another Black man’s actions, address his actions. If you feel that he has turned his back on his people, that’s fine. But when you try to exclude him from the population based on some illogical, fuzzy numbers game, you also start to exclude some very important historical figures – and you start to fragment the Black population and cause friction and fighting where there should be cooperation and positive movement.

As you know, most kids, particularly minorities, do not listen to what politicians have to say – but they will listen to what people like you and me (you, obviously, much more than me) – people who either make or distribute music, have to say. That’s why I was concerned. And I realize some of this may have been a “publicity stunt”, and it seems that the “he’s not even black” statement didn’t go on the air anywhere, but the approach is what worried me.

Anyway, I’m sure you have other mail to get to, so I will end this here. Peace.

ということで.

First, while I respect their individual opinions, I don’t agree with either DJ Chuck T or Spike Lee. I think Spike is going awfully easy on Obama. And on the other side, I think the whole “bi-racial” thing is a mass oversimplification.

What does get me worried is this whole “Black enough” argument. This isn’t a recent development, and I don’t expect it to die out any time soon, but with the fact that we are currently facing the very real possibility of a Black man sitting in the Oval Office, this issue takes on a new kind of urgency.

Classifying someone as simply “biracial” is next to useless. Where’s the line between “monoracial” and “biracial”? 25% “mixed”? 12.5% “mixed”? Same thing with offering a “biracial” bubble on an application form – do you mean to tell me that there is no difference between a kid with Black American and white parents and a kid with Korean and Indian parents? Sure, there is a possible common experience of “Jesus Christ what am I” for the kid’s childhood (or their whole life, who knows), but you can’t tell me that our Black/white and Korean/Indian kid have any inherent cultural commonality. Excluding Barack Obama from the “Black” category because of 50% of his bloodline or the complexion of the people that brought him up is a scary notion.

What’s Blackness? Is it the music you listen to (rap)? Is it your IQ (low)? Is it your economic background (poor)? Is it how many gold chains you can fit on your wrist (a lot)?

And yes, any Black person knows that the above have nothing to do with your being Black. Unfortunately, though, there are plenty of non-Black people out there that don’t get this. I’m not just talking about white kids here. The whole “Barack is not Black” line is not limited to the US, kids. Dig this topic from popular Japanese social site Kotonoha:

オバマ氏は日焼けしすぎた白人 (Obama is just an over-tanned white guy).

So somewhere, ladies and gentlemen, we have shown the rest of the world that being smart/well-spoken/successful is the antithesis of Blackness. It’s not just the police in LA and Atlanta that think this, it’s not your middle school principal, it’s the general, global populace (remember when Davey D said something similar?) (bonus points: Same Japanese website, different topic: “ 目の前に黒人がいると怖い / I’m Afraid of Black People“)

I’ve said this before, and I still believe it – America has one of the most uniquely screwed up race complexes I’ve ever seen (not that I’ve traveled that much, but still). This isn’t helping anybody. And the further that this thing goes, the more that this is going to come out into the open. I can’t say that that’s a bad thing.

Enough of me, though – what do you think?

Bonus closing joke – I don’t know any Black people that use words like “bamboozled” or “hornswoggled”. I hereby call Spike Lee’s Blackness into question. Can I get an amen?

okay, okay, a funky drummer?

Well, he’s back, and he’s put together a quick slideshow and a flickr gallery for everyone. Take a few minutes out of your weekend and check these out. The below is a youtube consisting of images from the rally set to Talib Kweli’s “For Women”:

National March Against Hate Crimes & Racism – Vince78′s Report

And here’s the images themselves in a flickr gallery with 80+ images including the Black Panthers:

Thanks again to dude for taking time not not only to participate in this march and show support for topics that the media willfully ignores – but to make sure all of us are up on what is going on as well. Any chance on you elaborating on the experience in the comments, fam? And remind us – where was the NAACP?

Also: dig the Seattle grunge throwback diversity:

We’ve got six high-school age Black kids either in jail, or on the verge of going in. And I know that not all Black kids listen to a whole lot of rap music – but for the sake of argument, check this:

A lot of the same artists that these kids spend their lunch money on, that these kids (for better or worse) idolize, that these kids think speak for them; are now, in their hour of need, nowhere to be found. I’m not necessarily talking about Kanye footing the bill for the defense fund, but about somebody saying something.

However: some of us are doing something. If you want an example, check out the last episode. There are a lot of prominent people on there showing support for these kids.

So I’m going to go ahead and take a bar from clyde (who, by the way, has really been taking bloggers to task on this thing) and compile a list of people who I know have done something about this issue. If you know of somebody who is doing something, please add them up in the comments. If you yourself are an artist and are doing something, then let us know.

I do worry sometimes that we get too negative about hip-hop, when plenty of people are carrying their own weight (and in the cases of a few, that of others). So this post is really just to show people that there is a growing number of MCs, artists, and industry people who are taking responsibility – and thereby encourage the rest of us to do the same, feel me?

Hit up the comments section…I know some of you out there have some info on this!

I’ve been thinking for the past few days on this Jena 6 case. I know that on the 20th there is going to be a nationwide action, centered in Jena, Louisiana. I can’t be there, but I feel like we can still do something.

So I’m working on an episode. Some tunes, some beats, some talking. I’m not exactly sure how it’s going to turn out. So I’m looking to you – yes, you reading this right now – to help.

I want you to call the Mixtape Show phone right now: (310) – 928 – 6876 – and leave a voice message.

Speak your mind on this issue. I’ll play it back, uncut, on the podcast show (in iTunes and on the site) for 15,000+ people.

Let everyone hear what you have to say. If you want to speak directly to the Jena 6, do that. If you want to speak to the public at large, do that. If you have something to say to the hip-hop artists or public leaders that are or are not doing something about this, say it. One sentence? Fine. One hundred? Do it.

Whatever is on your mind is perfect. Don’t be shy, don’t rehearse it, don’t give it a second thought. You can be anonymous if you prefer. Pull your cell out of your pocket right now and make sure everyone knows what you think.

Normally in this sort of situation, I would find a knowledgeable guest and interview them. But – I figure that we’re all world citizens here, and what we have to say is as valuable or more valuable than what any public intellectual or celebrity may have to say.

Try to keep it concise. A minute is good. Other than that, do your thing.

The mic is on. Say something. Please pass this on.

*If you’re outside the US, or can’t use your phone, that’s fine. We still want to hear from you. I’d recommend picking up Skype. It’s a free download, and will let you call the Mixtape Show from your PC for free. Just download it, and call the username “mixtapeshow” with your account, and it’ll go straight to the voicemail.

** Producers, holler at me. I may need some more beats for this one.

MIXTAPE 71 – FEATURE – IMUS, STOP SNITCHING, AND RAP

This is not a simple interview, and it’s definitely not just another episode. This is an hourlong (!) special on the state of hip-hop in the media today.

This special covers everything from the Imus-inspired backlash on Hip-hop to sexism/racism in the media to the Stop Snitching ‘movement” to the number of people that actually dictate what videos get played on BET and subsequently MTV (hint: it’s less than four).

During the last few weeks, Hip-Hop has been under serious fire from the mainstream media – not only because of the backlash following Don Imus’ termination, but the more recent 60 minutes interview featuring Cam’ron and Anderson Cooper’s interpretation of the Stop Snitching mantra. So in order to bring some clarity to the situation, I spoke to several different community leaders, all of different backgrounds.

Aishah Simmons – An African-American feminist and activist documentary filmmaker, producer of the award-winning No!: The Rape Documentary, and perhaps best known to longtime listeners of the Mixtape Show as the older sister of Atlantic Recording artist DJ Drama (previously interviewed here).

John Robinson – also known as Lil Sci – a producer, MC, and President of Shaman Work Recordings, which has put out releases from artists such as Emanon, CL Smooth, and MF Doom.

Willie D – a solo artist and core member of one of the most influential rap groups to ever come out of the South, the Geto Boys.

Davey D – Hip-hop historian, journalist, deejay, and community activist, whose website, Davey-D’s Hip-Hop Corner, is one of the oldest and most respected Hip-Hop sites on the net.

and David K Far-El – aka D-Brad, the former producer for BET’s Rap City and the creator of Spring Bling. He was fired some time after Viacom’s buyout of BET and is currently working on a book and DVD exposing the commodification of the nation’s biggest outlet and representation of Black and Hip-Hop culture.

I encourage everyone to listen to this feature, pass it on (messageboards, myspace, wherever), and continue the discussion both here in the comments and elsewhere. Or hell, request this on your local community station (see below).

So, yeah. What do you think? Hit the comments section.

Oh, and here’s the information on the instrumentals featured in this show:
Sun.NY – Soul of a Hustler
Common – The Light feat Erykah Badu
Lords Of The Underground – Tic-Toc
Goodie Mobb – Black Ice feat Outkast
Dead Prez – Hip-Hop
Black Star – Children’s Story
Naughty By Nature – Mourn You Till I Join You

MIXTAPE EPISODE 32

Hectic as fuck here, as usual. Since we were on that education tip last week, I figured we’d continue the domination of the hip-hop podcast world this week with some more of the same business. Focus this week: politricks and other “conscious”-type shit. I actually don’t really like the label “conscious”, since it seems like we’re patting MCs on the back for being sentient beings. I don’t really know how I feel about that. Does anyone have a better word we can run with? Feel free to leave a comment about that.On with the show. (click “continue” to see the playlist for this week’s show!)Saigon, dead prez, and Immortal Technique – Impeach the President. Not that this beat hasn’t been done before, in fact somebody did it like last year, but the joint is hot. Too many quotable lines in this one. Really, come on. Saigon, dead prez, Immortal…you know this joint is going to be fucking hot. Please download this, because if you don’t the terrorists will win. saigon on myspace, deadprez.com, immortal-technique.com.Oh yeah, by the way, XXLmag.com, I really hope you paid the dude that you jacked the flash player from. Also feel free to credit my site as your inspiration (see above, then check out xxlmag’s ‘bangers‘ section). Word.
Fred Knuxx – Dear Iraq. This came in literally like four hours ago, so maybe it’s a good thing this week’s episode was delayed. Familiar sample? Yeah. My man B. Sayre’s been shooting me basically nothing but quality material for the past month or so, about time we got one of his people on. Knuxx is new to me, but definitely is on the right track with this one.

Sin Sizzerb – Black Helicopters (Kill Like America 2). Sin is kinda new to me, but his latest mixtape made him the Official Favorite Mixtape Show Rapper of the moment. I’m going to lay off the praise and state simply that this song is my favorite one on this entire episode, which given the undeniable quality of everything I’m bringing to the table this week, should say a lot. Sin himself is doing some real interesting things – really all them boys out there have a good movement going. Please check this shit out, and listen to it at least twice. check out sizzerb.com.Damn.

Promise – Outside. Yet another joint out of the Mumbles Hip-Hop camp. That compilation CD they sent me is really full of fucking classics, but if you want the full dig on that you’re probably just going to have to cop that shit yourself. This one is yet another example – bringing shit back home. Don’t forget though, kids, the struggle is universal. Dope beat on this one, by the way. mumbleshiphop.com

9th Wonder and Buckshot – Slippin.Hey, look! It’s ol’ One-Drum. Just kidding. 9th is probably the best thing to happen to fruityloops users everywhere, showing us that we, too, can stop making cheesy Eurodance tracks and produce great hip-hop, you know, assuming that we have talent and shit. Which both of these artists do. Shouts go to Noha for shooting a big pack of Duck Down shit to me. Look for more of the same in the near future. duckdown.com

Jus Allah and GZA – Pool of Blood. Oh, come on. This is obviously on some next level shit. And it’s GZA, whose lyrics, as everyone knows, generally take about 3 months of careful study to properly decipher. Honestly the god could rap about Dunkin fucking Donuts and you would learn more from it than you did your entire first semester of junior college. wutangcorp.com

Well! That’s it for this week. As always, feel free to pass this show around, link up the site, tell your friends, etc etc etc. Next week.

MIXTAPE SHOW EPISODE 13 – Bavu Blakes interview

Yo, yo, what it is. Welcome to episode #13 of the best hip-hop podcast on the internets. Let’s go.

Now, if you’ve been in the whole glam-hop hip-hop event scene for more then ten minutes, then you’ll notice that Scion seems to be everywhere. It’s always “DJ No-name and MC NeverGonnaGettaDeal, sponsored by Scion OMFG.”

Which, of course, never bothered me too much. I always thought it was kinda funnystyle how Scion was backing all of these hip-hop events, but hey, if that lowered ticket prices for me, I was down.

I’m not sure if I feel that way anymore. Today’s guest is Bavu Blakes, whose song, Black Gold, was removed from the top 10 finalists in the Scion Nextup $50,000 songwriting contest because they felt that his lyrics were “too political”. The lyrics in question, bootlegged from Matt:

1. “Now Bush and bin Laden got so much they rotten”
2. “Texas home of the real death row”
3. “What’d we really go to Iraq fo?”

In reference to line #2, Bavu Blakes was asked if he was referring to the Los Angeles based company Death Row Records.

For rill, Scion? For rilly real?

Anyway, this is your standard (read: amazing) mixtape show hip-hop podcast interiew joint. Bavu gets on and tells us what’s up with Texas, what’s up with his journalism and hip-hop dual hustle scheme, what’s up with his past and upcoming projects, what’s up with the game, what’s up with Scion, and what’s up in general. That’s what’s up.

Also please note that I am not trying to put words in anyone’s mouth. Anything that is said is the opinion of that respective person, so if you don’t like something that I say, don’t pin that on Bavu.

My take on it – I think that if Scion and/or Inform Ventures, LLC can’t handle true hip-hop, they need to quit appropriating the culture. And if anyone from Inform Ventures wants to talk to me, feel free. I’ll put you on the show.

You can check out more info on Bavu Blakes on the following websites:

www.w4wmusic.com
www.myspace.com/bavu
www.myspace.com/blackbart
garlandglobetrotter.blogspot.com

And be sure to check out the myspace joint, as Bavu Blakes has a contest of his own going on – you can submit your own remix of Black Gold, and if he likes it, it just might end up on his next album, Too Selfish. More info available there.

Special thanks and shoutouts once again to Bavu for getting through all the technical difficulties and making this thing happen.

Yo, small update. I just got a phone call from the Red Cross (ehh..), and I am gonna be flying out to Montgomery, Alabama in about two hours to help with the hurricane relief effort. I’ll be gone until the 20th or so, so updates will be kinda few. Anyway, I’ve got some prepared posts that Cam will be putting up on specific days to keep you all from freaking out too badly. In the meantime, stay up…

Oh yes, and while we are talking about contests, do remember to check out the mixtape show Katrina track contest

For those of you too lazy to check the site, here’s the basic rundown:

As New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin pleaded on national television for firefighters – his own are exhausted after working around the clock for a week – a battalion of highly trained men and women sat idle Sunday in a muggy Sheraton Hotel conference room in Atlanta. Many of the firefighters, assembled from Utah and throughout the United States by the Federal Emergency Management Agency, thought they were going to be deployed as emergency workers.

Instead, they have learned they are going to be community-relations officers for FEMA, shuffled throughout the Gulf Coast region to disseminate fliers and a phone number: 1-800-621-FEMA.

So, yeah. We’ve got a bunch of firefighters that are ready for action, but instead we’re holding a fucking tea party and training them on how to hand out fliers. Shit is so fucked nowadays that it’s surreal.

Here’s the thing, though.

I don’t ever, ever want to hear anyone telling me that FEMA or the government in general isn’t to blame for not being prepared for this, because that is a bunch of bullshit. I know for fucking sure that they knew what was going on. How? Well, two things.

1. Even Mr. Bill knew. The creator of the Mr. Bill series made a short PSA in which Mr. Bill’s house in New Orleans floods, and he gets eaten by a fucking alligator. This was all over the place.

In 2001.

Check this video if you haven’t seen it yet. I’m sorry, if a play-doh character that dies every episode knows that New Orleans is about to get flooded the fuck out, then maybe FEMA should, too. Next reason:

2. FEMA produced a rap song about it. I’m not fucking joking. Here’s the direct .ra file link.

Here are the lyrics, in case you want to sing along.

Disaster . . . it can happen anywhere,
But we’ve got a few tips, so you can be prepared
For floods, tornadoes, or even a ‘quake,
You’ve got to be ready – so your heart don’t break.

Disaster prep is your responsibility
And mitigation is important to our agency.

People helping people is what we do
And FEMA is there to help see you through
When disaster strikes, we are at our best
But we’re ready all the time, ’cause disasters don’t rest.

Written and performed by Scott J. Wolfson

I’m sorry, but that’s some fake-ass shit. I want to know who this Wolfson dude is. Maybe he’s someone they hired, or maybe Mike Brown was like “Hey, my son has one of those computers with the beat machine doodads in it! Why don’t we make some of that hippity-hop that all the youngsters like, so that they will think we’re actually fucking doing something!“*

I don’t know. I’m not trying to call dude out personally, but I’m having a difficult time seeing the difference between this rap and a rap where some dude gets on and acts like he sells rock and shoots people in they face, when he’s really an accountant or something. Oh, wait, I see the difference – in FEMA’s case, more people die. Yeah.

So anyway, there you have it. I don’t want to see anyone else getting upset because 50 allegedly wears fake chains cause the real shit is too heavy/expensive. Not only does our government lie to us, but they do it to us in rap songs. This is some extra next-level bullshit.

*Imaginary quote courtesy the shyster.

Kanye did it.

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, let’s go.

So I was on fucking metafilter today, and saw this link. I was actually working on the latest edition of this site’s hip-hop podcast at the time, so I didn’t really pay attention to it, because the video was kind of sloppy.

Basically, it’s a taping of Mike Myers and Kanye West on NBC. At first, I was a little disappointed in the fact that they needed celebrities to get on there to convince people that this is serious business. Then I laughed a little at how they had Kanye and Myers there – I mean, they’re both really funny to me, but the latter is the only one that I think is trying to be funny on purpose.

Have you clicked the link yet? Do it. Check out this video, it’s worth it – here’s a .mov version.

So yeah, I am watching this video, and I’m noticing how Kanyizzle is fucking trembling with anger, angst, something. He’s obviously very emotional at this point. And while Myers is reading from the teleprompters, you can tell that Kanye is speaking straight from the heart, because he’s stumbling all over the place, his voice is shaking, and well, he doesn’t really sound all that great. At first, I’m like man, they need to get this dude a beer or something, chill him out, because he’s gonna break down on camera.

I was partially right. He didn’t break down, but he definitely fucking broke something down. Let me put this into pictures for you. He starts talking about the government putting military in New Orleans, and then breaks out with this line:

And by “us”, he’s talking about the urban Black poor people in New Orleans.

Myers is a little shocked. But it doesn’t end there.

At this point, I’m a little intrigued, because Kanyeezy already pulled the race card in the beginning of the clip, and you can tell that Kanye is still itching to let loose. You’ve got to wonder how far he’s going to go. Of course, you always hope that someone is going to get up on national TV and just do the damn thing, but it’s a fantasy.

Until now.

After he gets himself back together, Mike Myers proceeds to read off the teleprompter like a good celeb. He says some shit about the spirit of the people of Southern Louisiana.

Kanye, though, fucking Kanye. He waits for Myers to finish, looks the camera dead on, and says the following:

That’s right. Dude is on live television, and says: “Bush doesn’t care about Black people“.

What happens afterwards is sort of strange. Mike Myers looks at him in astonishment, and then they cut to Chris Tucker, of all people. God only knows what that was going through that man’s mind. Actually, I want to know what the producer was thinking when he cut to him – was he hoping that maybe Tucker would be like “Ah, nah, man, Bush loves us brothers!”?

I personally think that Chris shoulda been like “That’s right dog!”, but, well, he didn’t. His career is a bit less stable than Kanye’s right now, I’m thinking, so that probably wouldn’t have been a good move. I’m sure they exchanged words after that happened, though.

So here’s the thing.

See, this is something that everybody has known all along. I mean, if this had been a rich white neighborhood that was flooded, people woulda been evacuated inside of two days. Actually, that flood wouldn’t have even happened, because the government never would have moved money earmarked for levy improvements to Iraq . So Kanye really does have a point – it is, once again, fairly obvious that Bush doesn’t give a fuck about us*.

*By the way, if you’re not a Bible-thumping, homophobic, xenophobic, racist, rich male WASP, feel free to include yourself in that “us” as you see fit.

But, I mean, it’s Kanye. How is it that we’ve lost our way so badly that we are relying on a hip-hop producer whose fashion sense is barely above that of Pharell to represent us? It’s not that Kanye is the spokesperson for Black people, but, I mean, in this case, people – white politicians included – are looking at him as such. And most of us agree with him, I’m assuming.

I sure as fuck do.

And as sad as it is, I’m perfectly willing to take this. I don’t care if Suge fucking Knight gets on television and says that shit, it seems that we as a community are just forced to take anything that we can get. So if we need Kanye West to get up on stage and say what everyone – and I mean fucking everyone, Republicans included – have known all along, then so be it. Kanye wasn’t perfect, but fuck it, that’s all we’ve got right now. Don’t like it? Then let’s start taking care of this shit on our own, without relying on celebrities to convince themselves they’re speaking for us.

But for right now, I’m pretty happy. For real, this is the best shit that’s happened to me all fucking week.

I henceforth forgive Kanye of all previous crimes. Even though he kinda embarrassed himself in that Sierra Leone shit, even though I slept though the entire Common album, and even though he might have shot Suge (I’m kidding), I totally forgive dude. This was not perfect – not by any stretch of the imagination, but come on people, the world is fucking crazy right now. Shit is so absolutely fucked up that it’s surreal. I am sure that there are some out there that will accuse him of taking us a step backwards somehow, but for now, I’m satisfied with shaking shit up a little.

Oh, and check this statement from NBCsandiego.com:

“Tonight’s telecast was a live television event wrought with emotion. Kanye West departed from the scripted comments that were prepared for him and his opinions in no way represent the views of the networks. It would be most unfortunate if the efforts of the artists who participated tonight and the generosity of millions of Americans who are helping those in need are overshadowed by one person’s opinion.”

Man, whatever. Fuck NBC too.

Anyone who knows me personally and lives nearby – who wants to have a Kanye listening party?

I’m kidding.